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Asking Questions


Motherhood Behind the Scenes


Moms, you had me pretty scared. When I first became pregnant, I became a little depressed at the thought of being a mom. (This coming from someone who getting pregnant was all part of the plan.) Regardless, the fear of losing so much of my free wheeling life was terrifying.

Today, it seems, as soon as someone’s kids does something gross, terrifying or bratty, moms feel the need to share. I don’t know if it’s because we want everyone to know how hard being a mom is or what. I’ll tell you now though, moms. There is no question whether what you do is hard. And we don’t need to compete on who has it the toughest.  Let me say that again. It’s not a competition of who has it the hardest. If it is, you lose, because someone always has it harder. Also, this is probably the quickest way to tick off someone who is struggling with getting pregnant. They wish they were cleaning up some gross mess.

Since my soon-to-be mommy freak out, I’ve been determined to inspire other future moms and make sure they see the good things about being a mom, too. I know what you’re thinking, I wasn’t even a mom. How could I say something so arrogant?

I honestly knew this new role would be the toughest of my life. I didn’t think I’d fly in like superwoman and just “do it better” than every other woman on the planet. Nope, I’m sure there are plenty of things I’ve dropped the ball with in my short month of being a mom, starting with banging Vivi’s head trying to pull her out the car and countless other things.

I knew there would be hard days. I just wanted to focus on the good things. You might think this is naive and won’t give people a real picture of motherhood but the truth is, when someone becomes a mom, they are given that same choice, to focus on the positive or the negative. I don’t want to be a person that inspired them to dwell on the negative.

Our society has a tendency to traverse back and forth on different ideas. Generations ago the idea was to get a job, not because you loved it but to make money, and to stick with it until you retired. That generation warned younger generations, or kids simply made that call based on watching their parents, that they should pick a job they loved. And if they change their career path 10 times, that’s totally cool. (I’m on number 3, by the way.)

For motherhood, older generations wore a facade and never really talked about things like postpartum depression, that breastfeeding is hard, how little sleep you get and all the INSANE details around birth. Today, it’s ALL you hear about because everyone wants to be REAL.

There is crying and spitting up and less sleep and less time in general, but you make it happen. It doesn’t have to destroy your world. It’s different and an adjustment but, in my opinion, the blessings a child brings will ALWAYS make these things seem not so bad.

Hopefully our generation can embrace the balance of a ton of these ideas.

The world doesn’t need a bunch of Stepford “Moms” making it look like parenthood is a cakewalk (or bake sale). They need moms who are real without all the negativity surrounding it.

And just remember, you don’t have to remind everyone that grocery shopping is harder with kids. NO ONE will argue this fact. But you know what I recently realized was a new perk of shopping with a kid? Standing in line getting to look at Vivi making faces or just sleeping instead of my cell phone. Or if your kids are older, watching them explore things or ask questions.

For the record, I don’t think all moms are guilty of this. There have been several shining examples of being a mom and saving graces during my scared days that have been so great for me to watch. Some moms with five kids and a constant smile on their face. Moms who can cut loose and have fun with the girls that reassure me that life is not all spit up and stained clothes or no makeup and being trapped in the never ending loop of the carpool lane. And if it is, they don’t mind it one bit! Y’all have no idea how inspiring you are!

You might read this and still be thinking I just don’t understand how hard being a mom is yet. And if that is the case, that’s kind of the point of this whole post. It’s all a choice in how we look at motherhood. The other day Vivi would NOT go to sleep to save her life and I had a ton of work piling up. I texted my husband and told him to pray for me to have patience with her and to basically see the positive in this.

I readjusted my mindset and sat in that rocking chair that I’ve been in a good 1/3 of my days since her birth and enjoyed the moments with her. It made all the difference in the world in how I spent that next hour! I posted a photo soon after about those moments and how I wanted them to last. I wasn’t being fake. I genuinely felt this way after I chose to think that way.

Raise your sippy cup and let’s toast to keeping it real AND accentuating the positive.

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