Have you seen Yes Day yet? That movie with Jennifer Garner who’s a mom who says no a lot and when she realizes she’s no longer her fun-loving self, she’s determined to shed the grumpy mom and be the fun mom again.
When the story started developing, I looked at Tyler and said “Who’s the lesson for in this movie?” because I felt all the eyeballs on me. Am I a fun mom? I can be. But many days, it feels like I’m up against a lot to find it.
It’s not you. It’s the world.
Ok, it’s definitely still us too. But my hunch is if you’re anything like me, you take the brunt of the guilt for why you can’t experience more joy in motherhood.
The truth is, the world has decided that it’s hilarious to make motherhood look like the most awful job in the world. On its best days, it’s a message that hopes to bring unity. “You’re not alone!” But on its worst days, when we’re crying in a closet because our kid won’t sleep, the funny memes stop being funny. “I’m so alone!”
Are we really surprised that we get grumpy in motherhood when all the world talks about is how terrible it is?
When I was pregnant, the messages started coming in:
- Sleep now! You’ll never enjoy a full night of sleep again.
- Say goodbye to any adult conversation with your husband, much less date nights.
- Your new best friends will be dry shampoo and yoga pants.
- Your white couch is about to be ruined.
- Your fresh shirt with no spit-up is about to be ruined.
- Your body is about to be ruined.
My melancholy personality absorbed the messages and I knew if I was going to survive, I’d need a different playlist on repeat. The book came years later but the message was there from the beginning. Here’s the truth that could change your motherhood:
What the world says about motherhood is not what God says about motherhood.
I know that’s almost too simple to make a difference but just think about it. When I remember that what the world says about motherhood may not be true, I stop taking what I hear as fact. I start asking questions. I search for the truth. And when I search for the truth, what I get is a much different picture of motherhood. It’s still hard and can be messy, but it’s less focused on every hard thing and more focused on what God is doing through this special role we call mom.
Mother’s Day is this weekend, and we’re gonna be tempted by the memes that tell us the best gift we could ever receive would be a day alone. As an introvert, I feel very seen by this message. But beneath the silly meme might lurk some dissatisfaction. There might lurk some annoyance when in reality, Mother’s Day is doing what your family wants to do.
As we celebrate Mother’s Day, the best thing I can tell you is that you’re worthy of a joyful motherhood. Not because you’re perfect but because God is that generous!
Enjoy the day. Celebrate that God has given you a job that many women would kill for. Celebrate all the refinement that comes with giggles and footie pajamas. Recognize how strong and resilient God has made you to take on this role.
And on the hard days, when you need a peptalk, I’ve got one waiting for you.
We dive into 15 of the most common lies the world has about motherhood and I’ll share the truth we need to combat those lies so we can experience true joy. I’ve already said it, but one of my favorite things about this struggle is that identifying the truth and beginning to recognize the lies is transformative.
Becoming that fun mom (or at the very least less grumpy one) is right around the corner.