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Asking Questions


Book Club // Friendship, Part 1

5.24.2016 • 3 Comments

Happy Monday!…er…Tuesday!! I completely 100% forgot to blog this yesterday! I am fully blaming my adorable three week old for that one as long as it doesn’t make me a bad person. If it does, let’s just say this post must have gotten lost in the mail. 🙂

the finishing school - friendshipToday we are starting the chapter on Friendship in The Finishing School. If you haven’t joined our FB book club already, join here!

Talking about friendship makes me feel a bit like a fraud. I don’t include it in the book because I have it all figured out. Truthfully, I still find friendship hard! I told Tyler I am a little envious of my parents who have monthly game nights with friends, suppers around the table with other couples and plans for New Year’s Eve that involve dressing up (mine involved take out, an Amazon Prime movie and stumbling out to our garage in a blanket and glasses to see the fireworks).

I like to think having young kids gives me a free pass to miss out on friendships and that I’ll get my groove back once I don’t have as many responsibilities (is there such a thing?) or a kid attached to me every three hours, but that actually implies I once had a groove. And do I really want a free pass from friendships?

If I’m totally honest, my friendships have been a result of convenience for the most part. When things got hard, whether from more geographical distance or busy seasons, I don’t put the work in. I’ve never been the ring leader who rallies the troops for dinner and if that person gets busy, I tend not to see anyone for a while!

This week though, I really want to challenge myself and y’all in this aspect. Are we putting in the work? Or are our friendships based on convenience?

With a mom four doors down from me, a twin sister and a toddler bestie, I can justify not having a ton of other friends most days because I’m getting plenty of calls, texts and visits. I am grateful to have very close relationships with the lovely ladies that I share DNA with, but I know God calls me to more.

Rereading this chapter yesterday was so refreshing and gave me another motivating push to make some changes in regards to my friendships! I can’t wait to take action next week!

I’d love to hear from you! Have friendships dropped off your radar? Or do you have advice on how to make them a priority?

Also, y’all obviously know I love learning from books! Here are a few books on friendship that are on my reading list:

Nobody’s Cuter Than You by Melanie Shankle
Life in Community by Dustin Willis
Conversation Peace by Mary Kassian
Giddy Up, Eunice by Sophie Hudson


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Comments (4)

Join a hiking club or rock-climbing group. The combination of being outside and moving around will allow you to talk to many new people, as well as improving your physical fitness.

I became really lacx over my friendships last year. I have several chronic illnesses and it’s just too plod on at home without making the ‘effort’ to go out, I was only meeting up with people who made the effort to contact me. I’m also reluctant to ask people to meet up as I tend to think I’m a bit boring and that others probably don’t really want to see me, they’re just being polite. The last couple of months I’ve been making more of an effort and have had some lovely times with friends. I love Mark’s idea of relationship goals. I think I’ll be using that one . I hope that as you get settled into a routine you’ll find the joy in renewing some of your friendships. I love your scopes (@ InspirationalYarns) take care, Sharon

Of all the topics in your book, this is probably the one I feel like I have the best handle on. Not to say I have it all figured out, obviously. My biggest tip is that I work friendship into my monthly/weekly goals. For example, every month this year I have it in my Powersheets that we will have friends over for dinner at least once during the month. Other friendship related goals: write at least one encouraging postcard/letter to a friend each month; attend our small group (because it’s so easy to get tired the day of & bail in favor of Netflix & take-out!); go to church (I realize this is just a habit for a lot of people, but we got out of the habit after I had surgery a few years ago & it’s been hard to be consistent again. I should also point out that I consider the main point of attending a church service the community with other believers–I can technically listen to sermons online all day by myself); and lastly, I have it on my daily goals to pray everyday, which means I have to fill out the “friends” section of my prayer journal every month–which prompts me to text friends at the beginning of the month to ask what they need prayer for–and as I pray for them throughout the month, it reminds me to check in with them to see how they’re doing. Those are my main friendship goal examples. 🙂 I’ve definitely gotten to a point where I value my “relationship goals” (I also have goals related to family & my husband) over “work goals.” This results in my business not getting off the ground as quickly as I wanted, but I truly have no regrets. 🙂

This is great Mary! I literally took off my goal about friendship knowing it would be hard and I’d probably fail during this season with a newborn. It was such a cop out!! Woops!! Definitely going to add when I do my refresh next month! PS I love seeing your goals each month!!