Today we are talking about our chapter on forgiveness in The Finishing School.
As I worked my way through the questions in the homework for the chapter on forgiveness, I made a big personal discovery. Here were my answers to some of the questions:
What is your reason for not forgiving? Does the Bible have anything to say about that?
Feeling like it is more important for sin to be called out than it is to love and forgive.
Is this true for you to? Do you feel like your job is to bring sins into the light? To make sure your sister, friend, parents, boss need to cleanse themself from sin?
A few years ago, my twin sister and I had a rough relationship. My part in our struggle during this season was that I felt it was my duty to make sure she knew what she was doing wrong. I felt this responsibility on MY shoulders for her to straighten up. We went to a counselor and she said it so simply: I’m not responsible for her actions. This should have been obvious, but I got the idea of accountability and sharpening a Christian sister a bit twisted. And it can be the cause of unforgiveness in our life if we prioritize wanting confession and repentance from another person over for forgiveness.
What hard truth about forgiveness do you need to make sure you always remember?
I am only responsible for my actions. Unforgiveness is MY action. Their sins are not my actions. Their sins don’t justify me disobeying what God has called me to do. And maybe we need to ask another question: What’s my motive for wanting to keep them on the hook?
In this chapter, I reference Colossians 3:12-17. It talks about teaching and admonishing others with all wisdom and all in the name of the Lord. Is my heart really for their good or do I just want to make sure they know they messed up?
Bonus question: How is my life being negatively impacted by unforgiveness?
A tension in your chest? A burden on your shoulders? An awkwardness every time you go to church?
My favorite quote from the chapter is “I was tired of being tired. I was ready to feel energized by relationships.” Maybe you have felt the weight of relationships that unforgiveness can cause. The best news is that we don’t have to live like that. Galatians 5:1 says ” It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject to a yoke of slavery.” I think unforgiveness can be a yoke we unnecessarily stay slave to. Christ has freed us from this.
In the chapter we talked about how God forgives: quickly and completely. Which one feels the hardest for you?